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Sooo…I’m not my strongest right now. In fact, my morale is pretty dirt poor. I feel pretty broken in spirit and shot down. I would like to move on from this and feel like the best version of myself again but I’m just needing to take a minute to give credit to my emotions and not discount how I’m feeling. 

On another reflective note, I feel like I’m not changing in the direction I should be. I’m almost regressing. I find myself making the same mistakes again and again. I find myself exhausted and burnt out for the same meaningless energy expenditures. I find myself making decisions and acting/behaving out of fear, emotions and irrationality instead of letting love, strength and some innate wisdom guide my motivations. I find myself in an undesirable place thinking undesirable thoughts second guessing myself, my values and my God. That’s not a good place to be in. 

I’m in a profession where we concentrate our time and energy into things that could go wrong with something as beautiful as the human body in all it’s complex glory. It’s almost as if I’m being too perceptive and empathetic allowing myself to let this constant flux of negativity and pathology get to me. In addition, having to deal with social aspects of being in a small community of strong willed people making the best they can of what limited time and resources they were provided with. I think I need to start abundant thinking. I have more than enough. I am more than enough. My best is more than enough. A much need morale booster is in order along with a good dose of exposure to kindness, fairness, justice and things that just went very much right from a neutral potential start of just being. I don’t feel aligned. I feel knocked down. I need to visualize success and completeness and let my consciousness and subconscious rendevous and figure out how to get me where I need to be.

"It’s still you.
It’s still you."
-Margaret Atwood, from Shapechangers In Winter   (via barebonedandcrazyy)
"I need someone who
Sees the fire in my eyes and
wants to play with it."
-Haiku by l.s.f.   (via thatkindofwoman)
"Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who’d be kind to me. That’s what people really want, if they’re telling the truth."
-Doris Lessing, The Golden Notebook  (via thatkindofwoman)
"You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else."
-#127: (February 3, 2014)
"Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you"

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.

-Napoleon Hill

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
-George Eliot (via samantha-joie)
""A billion galaxies will not satisfy the human soul." (Ps 8:3) Your heart was made for God."
-John Piper  (via kissthewave)
"I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the sand and on the ocean, from me to you."
-Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated  (via thatkindofwoman)
gifts of the holy spirit and how they correspond

(cont’d from previous post)

right judgement
reverence of God/piety 

wonder and awe