"The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There’s not getting over that"
-David Leviathan (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
Attempting the ‘Power of Transcription’
Made the last minute decision to join some friends at a hotel bar in town last night and stroke up a pretty meaningful (than most bar chats at least) conversation w/ this one guy who spoke in what I’m guessing is an Aussie accent. Anyways, at some point he encouraged me to write down everything I want from this life on a piece of paper because that’s how he felt his success came to him. I admitted that I didn’t know if “I bought that crap anymore” (I’m a touch more frank under the influence of vodka and ginger beer in my favorite alcohol beverage—moscow mule for the curious). But he was insistent on “the power of attraction”, to which I suggested it was more of the “power of transcription”. He said he liked that and I gave him informal rights to utilize it in subsequent encounters.
Anyways on the chance he is right and for the purpose of consolidating random desires, I’m going to start listing my “order” for the universe.
1. I’d like to write a book someday, published in print, in multiple languages, NYT best seller, studied by scholars—since I’m dreaming might as well go big. I want to travel on book signing tours, giving lectures or getting interviewed. I want the world to crave the contents of my mind. I hope that one day my perspective on high quality matters will be held in high esteem by great people.
2. I wanna be a mama. To rescue dogs, foster/adopted children, my own children. I want to be able to find fulfillment in helping sustain someone who needs my help, love and support to grow.
3. I want to live outside of Texas for some time. I’ve been considering Florida or Washington State (Oak Harbor or Seattle). Maybe outside of the United States, just to experience a more time-relaxed, socialist culture. See where I fit and thrive best.
4. This one’s high ballin’ it but I’d like to be an actress. It’s not highly probable but it’s also not entirely impossible as well. Especially considering that many Asian actors/actresses start pretty late in the game, which is fine by me. It makes room for big kid roles. I’m not looking for some preteen Disney movie stint, or God forbid—some ABC family train wreck sitcom.
5. This one I’m slowly making my way towards more actively than the rest but I’d like to be in the best shape of my life. I wanna be composed of strong lean muscle. All extremities in tact and attached. Surfing the ocean, riding the waves. Skiing slopes. Running terrain. Playing in adult co-ed leagues. Lifting crazy heavy. No chronic illnesses. Looking sexy as hell in clothes or without them.
6. I want to do something BIG in regards to volunteer efforts. As soon as I start working, I’m putting away savings for annual medical mission trips through ivhq.com. I want to also build homes for families. Get involved in global relief efforts, especially dealing with hunger. There should be no death due to starving. It’s unacceptable. Let disease, natural disasters or freak accidents eradicate the earth but not hunger when food is being thrown away by the tons daily.
7. I want to fall in love with someone who loves me the right way. Or at least, I want to find peace in being single and still feel connected to others profoundly. I want to feel like I can move something inside people. I want people to recognize something magnetizing in me and I want them associate my presence with positive, warm feelings. But to be perfectly honest, I want a significant other that’s crazy (the healthy kind) about me.
8. I want to feel like I’ve got substance. I want to help someone else feel like they’ve got substance. I want to meet more people with substance.
9. I want to be more spiritually attuned. Be it through religion or meditation or reflective conversation/journaling. Whatever gets me there. I need to unlock that ‘level’.
10. I want a tattoo. I do not want my body to be buried in into the ground naked and plain.
11. I want some great work of art to be created or composed about me. I wanna go down in the books as a muse.
12. I want to be hella good at my job. I want to be the best PA out there.
13. I want my relationship with my mom to be stronger. There’s always room for improvement there.
14. I want to vacation in Costa Rica, Santorini, Lisbon and Barcelona.
15. I want to get my personal training license and a certification in sports nutrition.
16. I want to be fluent in Spanish and Portuguese.
17. I want to own a franchise in a food truck, bar or coffee shop.
18. I want to elicit the most genuine smiles and laughs. I want true social charisma. I want to be genuine. I want to rid myself ugly attitudes and haughtiness and think better, act better toward others.
19. I want to teach a college course.
20. I want my own personal assistant.
21. I want to read as many Scott F. Fitzgerald books as possible as well as the newly released biography of his missus, Lady Zelda Fitz.
22. I want to receive beautiful colorful bouquets of flowers from my beloved.
23. I want to create a popular alcoholic beverage.
24. I want to legitimately take up dancing—ballroom, latin, gitkrunkwidit, etc.
25. See more theatre shows, comedy shows, concerts, games.
26. Plan and give a friend or family member (esp my mom) the most enjoyable day of their life.
27. Publish in print or blog form, all my ideas/personal truth consolidated in one work.
I’m just ready for someone to love me the right way.
It’s been awhile.
"“When your heart is broken you plant seeds in the cracks and you pray for rain.”
— Andrea Gibson (via mylittlebookofquotes)"
"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet."
-Unknown (via seulray)
"I am constantly torn between wanting to improve myself and wanting to destroy myself."